BEAUTY'S HARD TRUTH
30thMay 2020
In Spring of 2001, Joel and I were commissioned by Barnes & Noble to make a book about Tuscany (Tuscany: Inside The Light).We had already been teaching here every summer for six years and would marry here in the May, honeymoon in Sicily and then return to Tuscany to teach what would turn out to be our last workshop. We planned to start work on the book in September and had decided to document the four seasons. Then 9/11 happened and Joel began documenting the aftermath. In December, the publishers began pressuring us to start work and so it was that we began in winter, January, to be precise.
At the time of asking it had seemed like a fun thing to do, but after the horrors of 9/11 and with the work ongoing in Ground Zero, the prospect of making a book about beauty seemed superficial, and rather embarrassing; until we realized that not only did beauty still exist, but proof of its existence was sorely needed.
Thinking about writing for the blog today has been a similar process. Lying in the dondolo, watching the upside-down branches of the ancient holm oak wave to the sky; looking out to the Mediterranean garden, then up and over the hedge to the hills and beyond to the blue-gray triangle of Mt. Amiata; how, I thought, can I possibly write of this when millions are suffering and/or have no access to such beauty. Once again I decided that if ever there was a moment to be reminded that beauty still exists, this would be one of them.
The ‘high’ of returning here from London passed quite quickly; after a couple of days we found ourselves agitated and restless. Nights of disturbed sleep interspersed with anxious dreams did nothing to ease the distemper. By the following Wednesday I was pissed off that there was no escaping the fucking virus; even if one didn’t actually have it, it somehow wormed its way into one’s consciousness and although we weren’t checking the news as often as we had been, we were still checking…even though by now I knew that the news I was looking for could not be found. And scarcely an hour went by without one of us uttering the dreaded C word.
Finally, I decided to let it all go and just surrender to being here.
So yes, beauty is vital, however we can find it. Perhaps for some it might be a tiny flower finding a crack in the wall to call home. And if beauty is most often associated with the visual then we must acknowledge the dearth of it for those who live in impoverished inner city tenements or refugee camps; perhaps there one might discover the beauty of bird-song which in the absence of air and road traffic can now be heard almost piercingly.
And if we are to continue our search for beauty, it must be almost an act of defiance because if beauty’s opposite is ‘ugly’ there is an over abundance of that to be found these days, not least in the pandemic of racial discrimination. For the past few years we have been witnessing the fight against the patriarchy in relation to its abuse of women; a worthy cause for sure and one that must continue. But right now the larger battle, also infected and perpetuated by the white patriarchy, is that of racial discrimination. Talk about ugly. The image of a white cop kneeling on the neck of a black man is a searing reminder of the hatred experienced by minorities for which there doesn’t seem to be a cure.
It is understandable, with all that we are presently dealing with, to feel overwhelmed; to want to turn away. But that is what too many of us have been doing all along. Perhaps now that America is burning change will come. But it won’t come fast, anymore than will a cure for Covid-19.
Ugliness has always been a part of life, and always will be. The idea that billions of human beings will all eventually attain consciousness is idealism atop a glass pedestal. But those of us who are capable can practice a little kindness here and there in our daily lives and continue to turn toward beauty. It may surprise you, turning up randomly now and again, but when you really need it you must go looking for it. It doesn’t always come in swaths, as it does here in Tuscany, but it is everywhere. It may be the evening light that turns a brick wall into an expanse of glowing warmth; the smell of cut grass, the feel of the sun on your back as you carry home the groceries, a sudden burst of laughter issuing forth from an open window or the indisputable smile that no mask can obliterate from the eyes.
And it can be seen and heard and felt in the quest for freedom, as witnessed here from the late, great Nina Simone.
Stay well, stay strong.
With love,
Maggie
